My cup runneth over!

What can I say? I am a HAPPY mama!

I can very clearly remember going to church on Mother's Day and my mom and I crying as all the mothers were acknowledged and given flowers and what not. Now, I don't cry much! And I definitely don't cry in public! So, it must have been quite emotional and painful for me, despite the fact that publicly, I didn't talk about it much and never let on that it was "a big deal".

I also recall the countless women in my clinic who "had" to come to my office to tell me they were pregnant so we could start the planning process of their being off of work. MOST of the time, they were crying because they did NOT want to tell me. I always reassured them that my fertility issues in no way should dampen their excitement and tried to assure them that I was genuinely very happy for them! And I really was!

But as I have said a hundred times, and will probably say hundred, because I am asked "the story" all the time of my girls' adoption, it was all in God's timing.

I wasn't one of those women who sat around obsessing about the fact that, for whatever reason, (and no we never knew why), who couldnt' have children. I just put my mind to doing what I could to help make it happen. I think Todd and I must have spent about four or five years going through fertility treatments, driving two hours one way to see a doctor. We ended up doing six inseminations and 2 in vitro treatments (ICSI if you are one who really knows all about the ins and outs of fertility treatments). Twice, I was implanted with 3 zygotes. Twice, we had three little embryos on our fridge, only to take them down when we went in for our check up a few weeks later.

As I have shared in the past, the very day that we put Jake on the plane to St. Jude was the very day that my second (and final) in vitro failed! That was no coincidence, I now know. In fact that fateful day is slowly approaching us (June 1).

I didn't know why then, but I accepted it.

I remember clearly praying that God was giving the miracle I had been praying for to Jake. And I believed that whole heartedly!

For two+ years, I was fully available to drive Staci's other two young uns back and forth to see their mom and brother 5 hours away. I was fully there to let them inhabit my upstairs and live with me and Todd. I am talking LIVING with us, the daily grind! Up early in the morning with lots of prodding, lunch money, new leggings for ball practice, zit medicine, keeping up with the current clothing trends, etc. That was my practice run for motherhood!

In retrospect, if those in vitros had taken, we would have had an infants (or multiples!) when my family needed me the most.

So, you know the rest of the story.... Jake passed away on October 5, 2006. He had my full attention and love , and my sister and brother-in-law had all of me too, during his illness.

When Jake passed away, we were sad, naturally, but there were distractions coming our way. I KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW that Jake was working with God to take care of his family. Staci and Don hit the "jackpot", Jin won a new convertible sports car in a raffle, Staci found out she was pregnant with a little girl, then, lo and behold it was my turn!

I got a call out of the clear blue for a young girl who wanted to know if I wanted her baby.

Flash forward to July 12, and this precious bundle of joy was handed to me. Todd and I could not hide our emotions. I well up just thinking back to that day. It was totally overwhelming!

Then, as most of you also know, we find out that to determine the date of your baby's conception, you add three months and subtract a week. WHAT?! October 5? The EXACT day of Jake's death was the EXACT day of my child's conception.

Jake KNEW that I would need that "coincidence" as affirmation that it was all part of the grand plan!

But he and God weren't finished with their showing off. They waited 8 months, then phone call number two came in! ANOTHER baby?! This just doesn't happen. And if I could've chosen exactly what I wanted, it would have been two girls! I should've known... perfect!

And now, being a mom is the highlight of my WORLD!

So, I guess I am posting all of this today to encourage those of you out there who may not really understand why the motherhood thing isn't coming easily for you. Maybe it isn't your time. What is happening in your life right now that is precisely what you are meant to be doing right now? What really needs your total attention? Dwell on THAT!

If you are meant to be a mom, you will be.

God handles all that planning. ... all the little details.

Here are my two little "details". I could not be a prouder mom!

Thank you, Jesus, for my babies. For making me a mom. And for laying my name on the hearts of two young ladies out there who very generously and lovingly placed their children in the care of me and Todd. We vow to do our best to make them strong, independent, HAPPY, hard-working, respectful, well adjusted little ladies.

Happy Mother's Day... to ALL of you.

MO

And Happy Mother's Day, especially to my mom who made me all of those adjectives mentioned above! We had a very happy childhood and continue to have a very happy adulthood with mom still making it clear that we are her "little girls". Our home was a happy one. I see myself mothering like you already. There's a reason that Staci and I have chosen to build our homes here and to never even entertain the possibility of moving away. You instilled in us a very deep sense of family, and neither of us could ever imagine being away from you or dad.

And to Todd's mom... we love you and I am thankful to you for the work you did to raise the man who eventually became my husband. He tells me stories of his youth all the time and how he was not allowed to feel or talk about any "privilege" he may have had. He was taught humility and kindness. He is a big ol' soft hearted teddy bear. And I know his mom had everything to do with that. So, Happy MOther's Day to you.

Oh, and for today's Question. ( I know I am behind one!)

What trait did you get from your mom, that you fully recognize and appreciate?!

I am going to say a real appreciation of holidays. GO BIG or GO HOME! We do everything in a bit of "excess" when it comes to holidays. When we celebrate holidays big, we tend to celebrate the everyday "mildly" too! Thanks, Mom.